Camp, Amazement and Some Emotional Stuff

It is just amazing.
I thought of posting some of my emotional thoughts here, but after reading few different blogs of the youth, I have decided otherwise.

I am just so thankful, grateful and touched as well as amazed at what God has done to the CBC youth during the Fulfuelled Camp.
To me, before I went up, I was just thinking...it's just another camp lah..however a part of me decided to go up with expectations.
I had expectations indeed, that God would move among the young ones.
And also I had longed for a touch from Him, a refreshing touch to remind me He is still there.

And He met my expectations. Thank you Lord!

I am especially encouraged looking at the youth.
When they are growing, when they are breaking down before the Lord, when they grow closer to God.
It is very encouraging.
I know that I haven't been the best of people in the youth, or serving in the youth..
However, I just want God to use me more in this ministry.
It has been fulfilling indeed.

Even one of the youth posted this very mature thought on Worship as a musician:

'When you worship, as a musician, you don't just concentrate on playing.
That's not it.
You gotta let the Spirit guide you through as you play.
You're not playing for the band, you're not playing for the people, you're playing for GOD.'

Taken from Jojo's blog.

And with that I am also reminded that worship is more than just our raw music talents.
It is far more than just what we can play.
It is our hearts that matter.
Many times have we taken worship for granted as just being the music aspect.
What happened if one day we had no instruments at all? Would that be a hindrance to our worship?
No. It shouldn't be.
Thank you Jojo and Ben for your sharing on this.

On a more human and emotional note, I now know the meaning of the phrase:

'The more you feel, the more you appreciate'

I have been having troubles feeling or even having any emotions for people lately.
I even have problems expressing my feelings or showing it.
Maybe that's why lately I never appreciate how people can be so lovey dovey and such..
And also maybe it's because of me not wanting to be hurt again by my emotions..hence a self built wall to block anyone from accessing my deep thoughts and emotions.

I pray that these walls and blockades be removed from me.
I want to know how it feels like to feel, like or love another person again..
I want to appreciate the simplicity and complexity of emotions..
For after all, Love is the only thing that reminds me that I am human...

Sigh.

On a side note, my leave ends this week.
Work begins on Monday again. Back to the office and routines of life.
But I want to make a difference still..