Of thoughts and MC's.

So I took two days MC this week.
Officially worked in the office for 2 days.
1 day went for a site visit.

Had like headaches, extreme tiredness and diarrhea.
And on top of that I think I lost some weight.
My shirts and pants feel differently loose on me. Hmmm..

Still gotta read up my friends dissertation to proof read it for her.

Planning to head up Mt Kinabalu a 2nd time.
Just unsure when.
But training has to begin!!:)

On other thoughts...I think I'm too picky.
Even Lisuen says so...T_T wuwuwu..
I don't even know how I got so picky?! WAhhhh..
But at least for the time being, being single isn't so bad after all.
Sorting out my own personal issues and having less drama is definitely good.
But at the end of the day, the feeling of wanting to have someone to go home to or be at your side definitely kicks in..and it's during this time I wish I wasn't single. LOL.

Grass is always greener on the other side eh?

Anyway, I'll stop rambling.
Gonna get by sleep and wake up for a morning jog tmr! woo hoo!:)

Nites World!

Kinabalu tripping

So it came and went by.
5 days of gruel torture...not really la. But it's not really my kind of holiday.
In those 5 days, it was a firsts of a lot of things.

First time to:
1. Visit Sabah (East Malaysia)
2. Go white water rafting while sitting on a man pushed flat board trolley along a railway to get to the white water rafting place.
3. Climb the highest mountain in South East Asia and only fall short of 1.7 km to the summit thanks to my unfit self.
4. Sink my body in the hot springs of Poring to rejuvenate after the climb.
5. Eat seafood that costs RM 51 per person
6. Eat Tuaran noodles and normal hawker food which was much more expensive than KL...

So yeah, it was enjoyable.
I totally got out of my comfort zone for this trip.

White water rafting was damn fun. Luckily we didn't capsize as I don't know how to swim and to get up the freaking raft is not easy at all.

Mt. Kinabalu was a REAL challenge for an unfit person like me.
I hiked a total of 16 km in 22 hrs. We took the Mesilau trail which is 8 km from Laban Rata (the midpoint). Normal people will take the Timpohon trail which is 6 km from Laban Rata. I took 10 hrs to complete that first part.

The only thing that kept me going was that I cannot turn back now and that I HAVE to reach the top.
And really, I'm glad that I at least managed to reach Sayat Sayat which is the last checkpoint before the ascend to the summit (another 1.7 km to the summit).
I was so unfit that every 10 steps I took, I had to stop to breath as the air was really thin. It took me a good 2.5 hrs to cover 1 km distance...which is damn slow.
Hence, by the time I reached Sayat Sayat it was already 4.30 am, and if I were to cover the remaining 1.7 km, I'd only reach the summit by say...9 am?

So decided to stay up at Sayat Sayat till the sun came out and took some pics.
The views are breathtaking.
I'm definitely going back for Round 2.
I must reach the top then.

However, this trip has taught me few things:

a. I am not fit at all and I need lots of training to improve.
b. If you don't have an adventurous spirit, you will never experience new things.
c. Determination and perseverance are both equally important in life
d. God is truly amazing to create such beautiful sceneries and nature such as Mt. Kinabalu..really.
e. I think I'm in love with the views at Kinabalu park...I'm missing it already.

I am quite glad that I did this.
It's something else to add to my 24th year as a human on this planet earth.
Something to definitely remember it by.

:)

Internal Struggles

KK Trip in 5 days.
OMG.

I'm starting to really feel the...excitement mixed with anxiety of what I'm going to go through.
But I guess if I've survived bootcamp, this should be interesting!:)

Anyhow..lately I guess I'm missing Bootcamp.
Aside from that, the internal struggles that put me on a losing end constantly is not getting any better.

I'm still torn apart.
Between giving up my selfish desires and following God wholeheartedly.
Why can't I seem to see His reality in my daily life?
Why am I being stubborn and disobedient when the words have been clearly spoken?
What is up with me?!

I long for a life changing turn of events.
Life changing encounter with my Creator.
With the God who sent His son to die on the cross for my sins.
I am sick of falling constantly.

Why can't I seem to SOAR with Him on wings of eagles?
Why can't I seem to rise to another level with Him?
Why do I seem so stuck?!

I know the reason. But I'm just venting my frustrations.
The reason is me. My own stubborness and unwillingness to give up the selfish desires which I hold close to me.

I feel like that small daughter in the story where the father kept on asking her to give him her treasured fake pearl necklace in order for him to exchange her with a new real pearl necklace.

Sessions like this remind me of my mentoring sessions with Gordon.
Reminds me of things that he said but I am still yet to grasp it and make it my own.
I'm really starting to get tired of not being able to live my life to His fullest.:S

Lord, help me to surrender these selfish desires to you.
Help me to worship you in spirit and in truth and not by lip service.
Draw me closer.
Help me to really just give up these things that I hold so dearly so that I can embrace what You have in store for me.
Amen.