New Year, New Start

The new year brings about many things.
Uncertainties for sure, but I have a feeling it's gonna be a good year ahead.

I've decided to stop doing resolutions for the new year, or maybe just place it under a different notion.
Reflecting back on 2008, it was an interesting year.
Lots of learning and blessings throughout.
Lots of new friendships and closer bonds.
I know there's still much room for improvement in 2009 that for sure.

2009, I want to just do these few personal things..and I hope it's possible to accomplish.

Get right and closer to God.
Foster closer bonds with my own family.
Pick up a new skill and hobby.
Exercise routinely.
Give my best at work everyday.
Get to know more people.
Keep my character and attitudes in check.
Be happy always no matter what.....

On the other hand, in 2009 I also plan to pimp my car somewhat. HAHA:)

Should start figuring out how to link other ppl's blogs on mine as well..:D

Anyhow, it's quite saddening to see your leave ending so soon. It's like watching something unstoppable come and devour you and all you can do is just look at the black darkness.

Okay..I'm uttering nonsense.

Happy New Year people!!:D
Let's celebrate the new year aheadddd..
And I am going to be one year older..oh well!

Random Moments

Just watched Ip Man. Awesome movie!

On another note, I sorta feel half sad and half happy that I'll be gone to Penang for 4 days.
My leave is just passing by.
It's like I just want to stay in this holiday mood for like 1 month at least.:(
But yeah, I guess it's not meant to be that way.

I do miss student life..
Sigh.

Anyway, many other random thoughts and emotions are running through me now.

Just wishing for things to take a turn for the better..
At the same time, I need to deal with my own issues.

New year is coming.
I guess I'll be giving up on resolutions for now..however, that being said of course I have a few things that I would wanna accomplish in 2009 as well.

Just have to commit it to Him and see how it all goes...
Thank you for 2008...though I guess I need to write a reflective post on my past year..later.

:)

Car Audio Systems

I plan to spend my money in 2009 on my car audio system.

However, I think it's gonna cost me at least RM 1.5k ~ 2k to get a decent audio system c/w amplifier, subwoofers and 4 way speakers.
Also plan to repaint my car which will cost an additional RM 700 at least.

My car is like an old lady, and it needs to be pimped!!!!:)
I shall spend 2009 to spoil her silly..hohoho.

On a side note, I am still looking for some people who know about car audio systems very well to give some sound advice when I go looking for parts of the audio systems.

Hmmm...

Camp, Amazement and Some Emotional Stuff

It is just amazing.
I thought of posting some of my emotional thoughts here, but after reading few different blogs of the youth, I have decided otherwise.

I am just so thankful, grateful and touched as well as amazed at what God has done to the CBC youth during the Fulfuelled Camp.
To me, before I went up, I was just thinking...it's just another camp lah..however a part of me decided to go up with expectations.
I had expectations indeed, that God would move among the young ones.
And also I had longed for a touch from Him, a refreshing touch to remind me He is still there.

And He met my expectations. Thank you Lord!

I am especially encouraged looking at the youth.
When they are growing, when they are breaking down before the Lord, when they grow closer to God.
It is very encouraging.
I know that I haven't been the best of people in the youth, or serving in the youth..
However, I just want God to use me more in this ministry.
It has been fulfilling indeed.

Even one of the youth posted this very mature thought on Worship as a musician:

'When you worship, as a musician, you don't just concentrate on playing.
That's not it.
You gotta let the Spirit guide you through as you play.
You're not playing for the band, you're not playing for the people, you're playing for GOD.'

Taken from Jojo's blog.

And with that I am also reminded that worship is more than just our raw music talents.
It is far more than just what we can play.
It is our hearts that matter.
Many times have we taken worship for granted as just being the music aspect.
What happened if one day we had no instruments at all? Would that be a hindrance to our worship?
No. It shouldn't be.
Thank you Jojo and Ben for your sharing on this.

On a more human and emotional note, I now know the meaning of the phrase:

'The more you feel, the more you appreciate'

I have been having troubles feeling or even having any emotions for people lately.
I even have problems expressing my feelings or showing it.
Maybe that's why lately I never appreciate how people can be so lovey dovey and such..
And also maybe it's because of me not wanting to be hurt again by my emotions..hence a self built wall to block anyone from accessing my deep thoughts and emotions.

I pray that these walls and blockades be removed from me.
I want to know how it feels like to feel, like or love another person again..
I want to appreciate the simplicity and complexity of emotions..
For after all, Love is the only thing that reminds me that I am human...

Sigh.

On a side note, my leave ends this week.
Work begins on Monday again. Back to the office and routines of life.
But I want to make a difference still..

Life of Absolutes

Camp was awesome!
Enjoyed myself thoroughly there.

Realised it has been awhile since I blogged due to the fact that my project was in the commissioning phase.
It has been a real interesting time learning through my job.

It's been a blessing that God has provided me with very good bosses who are willing to teach me.
And also who believe in me.

Overall, in camp I learnt that the life of a christian, is of absolutes.
The bible talks about absolutes.
Things that we cannot justify or compromise.
And I am struggling to keep up to that sort of life when the world screams otherwise.
Working world and student life is totally different.

Counting the times when I've failed to live up to His will.
Man, it's hard...but all I just want to do now is return to Him.
To live my life of absolutes and yet be opened..does that make sense?

Oh well, gonna take some time to figure out my life once again.
And I am loving my leave!:)
Heh..

Post Modernism

Today during the sermon, my pastor talked about post-modern people.

And I started to wonder whether I am one of them...to a scary extent, I am sorta post modernised.

It is a constant battle to try and accept the words from the Bible as an absolute truth.

My mind constantly wonders why things have to be so? And why at times the Bible seems to be very judgemental or sort of like a rule book to keep us in check.

Maybe that's just my post modern side speaking. Internally, I do believe that the Bible IS the absolute truth. But believing is one thing and accepting it is another.

Well I just have issues to accept the absolute truths at times, but I pray that by God's grace my heart will learn to accept them.

Talking bout that, even when asked to share the gospel / testimony with other people who are non-believers, most of the times I feel inferior or unworthy to do so.

I don't want to be a hypocrite myself. Simply put.

I don't know if anyone else faces this problem, but I do and I don't really like it as it hinders me from sharing something good with my friends or loved ones...

Oh well, this is another one of the struggles in my life...:S

'The spirit and the flesh are always in conflict with each other..what the spirit wants the flesh doesn't, and what the flesh wants the spirit doesn't..'

Weighty Issues

It's odd being an engineer.

An overly big one in fact. I have self esteem issues which I don't even realize at times.

Maybe it's the fact that I've always been big and being called 'big', 'fat', 'fatty' or whatever has a negative connotation to it with my weight / size.

Hence the fact that I understand the times when people get called fat or whatsoever weighty calling.

I guess nobody is perfect and everybody has their own issues or imperfections. But what puzzles me is that fat people get picked on the most. Overly thin people never get that 'look' from people that they are overly thin. Only fat people do.

Fat people get a certain judgemental look each time people look at them. That's what I've observed so far.

The world craves for perfection so much so that any imperfection is despised and looked down upon.

Fat people are still people. Thin people are still people.

Personally speaking, it's not fun when people make statements about my weighty issues.

I guess it's time for me to shed some weight anyway, for my own personal reasons. I wish I didn't have to conform to what society wants.

It's sickening.

This is my first struggle in life.

'It is always better to admit ones weaknesses / inadequacies instead of ignoring them'

A new beginning

A new blog begins.

Decided to post some of my thoughts, struggles and aims along the way as a freshie young adult.

When life is not all as it seems to be.

Will try to post more frequently and of more useful stuff to ponder on than my previous emo blog. Lol.

:)

Might decide to write on certain fitness / weight loss struggles that I go through as well.

It's time to get fit ...I think that's the umpteenth time I told myself that..but we'll see how it goes.

'A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step..'